Day 1467 - Or better known as: Four Years Later

So here I am, three years later, FORTY KILOS overweight, isolated in my room, basically, back to square one. Once again.

In a desperate try to diet again, I went to the Dr. who attended me, to ask for his (financial) help. 

I have to admit, I spent over $5,000.00 (Yes, FIVE THOUSANDTH DOLLARS) on this treatment which, after four years, I am STILL paying on credit.

So, I went to the Dr. and he didn't offered me Pronokal as a treatment but he gave me another protein-like dust to drink, and yes, he helped me with his fee and the price on this new protein. 

However, It's not the same. Obviously.

Never drank those protein shakes and returned to the ol'nasty eating habits. 

Never went back with that Dr. 

In a moment of desperation, three months ago, I called Pronokal, they had sent me an email with a special promotion, giving credit etc. 

Without giving any thought, I called them immediately. 

They said, my treatment to loose those extra 80 pounds I now have, would cost $4.000.00 Yes, another four thousand dollars, which I obviously don't have. 

So, depressed and beaten again with frustration, I put the diet behind and one year later, here I am, hiding behind four walls, avoiding human contact, probably depressed and eating everything I can get my hands on. 

It's a horrible habit, it breaks your will and it makes you feel good for a while, but then you need more because the existential emptiness is still there. 

I've never done drugs, but as I'm writing this, it feels clearly that food is a drug.  
I know there is the nutritionist factor, but I know them all, back and forth, I simply hate weighing the food, counting the calories, avoiding sugars and carbohydrates. 

The math is simple; avoid these and the weigh will come off. Yeah. Ok. Not ready for this. 

After Pronokal, eating is different, and also, my body changed, it gains weigh differently, my face is thin and the fat has gone wherever it wants. 
I cannot look at a mirror, my "Dracula Syndrome" is back. 

I have learned about another treatment, I will be posting another blog of. 

I'll keep you posted.