Day 20 - Dysmorphophobia (Or: "you are beautiful, no matter what they say")

According to wikipedia: 

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD, also body dysmorphia, dysmorphic syndrome; originally dysmorphophobia) is a type of mental illness, a somatoform disorder, wherein the affected person is concerned with body image, manifested as excessive concern about and preoccupation with a perceived defect of their physical features.[1][2] The person thinks they have a defect in either one feature or several features of their body, which causes psychological distress that causes clinically significant distress or impairs occupational or social functioning. Often BDD co-occurs with emotional depression and anxiety, social withdrawal or social isolation.[3]

I once heard this word from a doctor, a friend of my father. I "accidentaly" read a mail she sent to him, concerned about me. I was shocked. It took me several years to accept this fact. 

Yes. I am dismorphic. I admit it. Totally. I hate my body (even though I have gone through several cosmetic -non sucssesful- procedures like liposuction 10 years ago amongst other surgeries) I don´t have a good perception of myself, in fact, I don't have a perception at all. Just hate my body.

As I saw yesterday the full body pictures from me on February 18th -when I began the diet- I just could not believe how obese I was (am). A "seven month triplets pregnancy" could describe it better. I just cannot believe how I got away with that and not noticing or at least taking it to a conscient level. I'm impressed.  
Being morbidly obese, is not funny. The funny thing is I got fatter like a pregnant woman, so people would think I was pregnant instead of obese. And the worst thing, is that I was ok with that. I could get away with my obesity and prefer to say I was pregnant. 
It's really horrible now that I think about it. But it's all because of the Dysmorphia and not being OK with the shape of  my body. 

I decided I will post pictures at the end of the tratment. My first image taken and the last one, just for dramatic purposes, but until then, these images can say more than words can say:

Day 19 - As Time goes by

It's amazing how time goes by. It's the end of the third week and I'm feeeling just ok. 
Having this week, a strict regime of soup, milkshakes and nuggets (and LOTS of zuccini, sparragus and nopales) I feel like I just got to this weeks finish line.

My friend told me I had to play with the recipes and allowed vegetables. For example, Instead of making "flat" nuggets, make them round, cook them on the oven and then add some tomato sauce, making them taste like meat-a-balls. It sound delicious. Now I have to go and buy tomatoes!!

But to tell you the truth, the salsas have made this food even better. Greentomtao salsa have joined me in almost every meal and it's so good. Its a liitle bit hot, for I add chili and it's more spicy. 

Today's inspiring story: 

O-M-G!!!

Snooki slimdown! Unbelievable how she did it. She looks great! 43 pounds it's just incredible, specially after giving birth.