Saturday, April 30, 2016

Try Again - Day 0 - Three years later - Yoyo-ing


It's funny how my enthusiasm works. 

I have been dragged -once again- into the "Obese-1" label once again, avoiding mirrors, dressing with almost the same clothes to say the least. I have started to hide again from the world, eating, binge-ing and eating until I've got sick. Hating myself for eating and not be able to stop.

I had been trying to diet "the normal way", you know, based on the pyramid food control, based on calories, based on the healthy choices we need to make to keep fit. But it was useless. Not even a scare of high 255 glucose level made me think about it.

Until the inspiration comes (Pick an inspiration, any little inspiration) and then, it's all up hill again with this crazy effort. And then, the inspiration came. 

I went several months ago to the same Pronokal doctor, and asked him for help. Financial Help. That's why I left the treatment in the first place, and that's why I gained the weight back.

Of course I did not had the money to pay, so I asked him if there was any chance for me to start again Pronokal with a discount. He agreed without hesitating, but this time, it would be another treatment (protein based). 
He gave me BIOPROTEIN, and a new pill that totally blocks my anxiety for eating. 

This was in October 2015, and after months of being sick with the flu among other illnesses, I have finally decided to start. May 1st. 

I must say I tried the shakes. And did not liked them at all. 
I prepared the with water, and made me gag all the way through the drinking process. So tomorrow I will try them with milk. 
I'll let you know how its working, but I can tell you as of now, I'm not hungry. 
It's a strange sensation... my stomach growls with hunger, but I don't have -at all- the urge to stuff my face with food. 

I can only drink 5 of these a day. That's it, and of course the same veggies as phase 1 in Pronokal. I'll let you know how it goes. 

The mind is so powerful, I'm not hungry, or thirsty or have any anxiety.. but I get sunk into the obsessive thought and it drags me to the times I'm eating and the pleasure it gives me. 

It's a constant fight. 

So, here I go again: 


May 1st - 191.8 pounds / 87 Kilos / 13.7 Stone.

Ideal weight: 132.2 pounds / 60 Kilos / 9.44 Stone.


Of course, this is my "ideal weight", not the healthy weight, so when I get to 65 kilos, I'll see where to go from there. 

I am not happy. Diets for me are punishment. Since I can recall, I've been on diets. I hate them. I have "HANGRY" issues. LOL. 

Has any one of you that have made PRONOKAL got addicted to meats and protein? obsessed with what you eat? Sick or Ill when you eat a specific food? (I became lactose intolerant and addicted to meat)

Let me know how your experience went!
I know I'll keep you posted on this new adventure. 

HUGS!